Greek City Frontpage Topics http://forums.greekcity.com.au Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:25:03 +0000 180 http://forums.greekcity.com.au/index.php?showtopic=15575



Last week I had a reunion with my old Sydney University friends Marcia, Peter, Alexandros and Christina. We try and catch up every six months to find out what’s going on in each other’s lives and to reminisce about the good old days, when life was all about partying hard and passing exams.

Gone are those days and so are the back to back piss up’s, as now it takes us a week to recover. So you can just imagine the state we were in after our fourth bottle of Merlot. Yes, the D&M’s were in full swing and somehow we got on to the hot topic of:

"How many is too many?"

And no we were not referring to the amount of wine we were allowed to have, before being over the limit to drive because we knew we were gone in that department.

In this case, we were talking about the number of sexual partners we are entitled to safely admit to, before we were charged and convicted of being "dirty whores".

"When a boy has sex for the first time, he becomes a man. When a girl does it, she loses her innocence," said Marcia with a confused look on her face.

I just burst out laughing uncontrollably and it wasn’t only because I had one too many glasses of red.

What’s so funny you may ask?

There’s no way that I could take serious such a pre-historic bullshit view. And to me it’s nothing but a joke to hear comments that are so ludicrous and I’ll explain why.

See the opposite of innocent is guilty. So if a girl has lost her innocence, she has become guilty of something. And my question is:

When it comes to having sex, what is a girl meant to feel guilty about?

We are living in a pop culture driven society and an era where sex is plastered everywhere! You can’t switch on the television without people going for it. You go to the movies and their doing it in your face. You hear about the wild thing in songs and read about different sex positions in magazines.

And most importantly, if you are doing it right, sex is one of the greatest pleasures in life. So why would any person in their right mind want to make a woman feel guilty for taking part in such a beautiful and passionate act?

Now I don’t see anything wrong with a girl or guy for that matter, remaining celibate until marriage and I admire them for doing so, if that is their choice and belief.

If you want to hold off for religious reasons or because you are waiting for that special someone, I say good on you!

In turn, I should not be judged for deciding that I don’t want to wait until I get married to have sex with a guy. These are personal decisions that affect no one but the individual.

So when it comes to having sex, I live by the following 5 rules that go in no particular order, but have one word in common- RESPECT:

1. Always RESPECT yourself

2. Always RESPECT your body

3. Always RESPECT the person you are sleeping with

4. Only have sex with someone who RESPECTS you

5. Only have sex with someone who RESPECTS themselves

"A few of my mates refuse to settle down with a girl unless she’s a virgin," said Peter.

"Let me ask you Pete, how many girls have these guys been with?" I asked.

Of course he chuckled and with that I knew that it was way in the double digit figures. Now it’s these double standards that I can’t seem to get my head around.

What makes me laugh even more about these hypocritical guys is, without us, who are you planning on having sex with, each other?

A piece of advice that my Mum has taught me is, never use "megala logia" because it will always come back and bite you on the bum! And that is exactly what happens to most of these narrow minded boys because they are the ones who end up with women who are very promiscuous.

Thankfully there aren’t too many of these guys still about and as for the ones who are, I simply refuse to associate myself with them.

And don’t even get me started on women who also feel that it’s okay to call another girl an insulting name because she chooses to sleep with men out of wedlock.

At the end of the day, what is it to you?

Filenatha, if you are happy with your own love life, why do you care if I’m getting a booty call from my man at 2am in the morning?

Does it really affect you if I have slept with 1, 10 or 100 men?

Really, take a few minutes to stop and think about it.



Can you come up with one valid reason? Of course not.

So I mean this in the nicest way possible, when I say, GET A LIFE and stop worrying about mine!

As I’ve mentioned before, it doesn’t matter what other people think. As long as you are happy and making decisions that are good for you, think about it as a positive that you are giving people something to talk about. It means that you are living life, experiencing what it has to offer and most importantly enjoying yourself without harming others.

As long as it’s your choice, it doesn’t matter how, when, where or why you choose to sleep with someone and you should never feel guilty about it.

The only time I would ever feel ashamed is if I broke the NEVER ever rules that I have made for myself which again go in no particular order:

1. Never ever sleep with a married or any attached man

2. Never ever sleep with a guy because you feel pressured

3. Never ever sleep with a guy to get something in return, eg. a step up the corporate ladder, a new hand bag or a trip to Paris

4. Never ever cheat on your partner

5. Never ever sleep with a guy if your not comfortable with him or the situation you are in

I’m not here to advocate and support young, single women sleeping around with any man who throws himself at her, that is the furthest thing from my mind. Nor am I saying go out there and have as many one night stands as possible.

I am just pointing out that these days it is rare to find people who do wait till marriage to have sex and teenagers are doing it at a younger age.

This is not fiction, it’s a fact.

So instead of pretending that it’s not happening, I think it’s necessary to encourage people especially youngsters, to protect themselves.

As a responsible 30 year old, I feel the need to tell my younger cousins, nieces, friends and all those girls out there to be careful not to fall pregnant, to be weary of catching a disease and most importantly encouraging them to be strong and to only make the decision to have sex with a guy when they are 100% sure.

This is the age of choice and equality and if you are going to label a girl a bad name, be careful because karma’s going to get you.

And most importantly, regardless if you are a boy or a girl, we need to learn to RESPECT ourselves and each others choices.

So till next week…happy loving and filakia polla, Aphrodite xx]]> Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:25:03 +0000 http://forums.greekcity.com.au/index.php?showtopic=15575 http://forums.greekcity.com.au/index.php?showtopic=15433






Can I spend the rest of my life with a guy who isn’t Greek?


This question was lingering in my mind way before Toula married Ian in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and I’ve been thinking about it even more so since I started dating Jonathon.

To cut a long story short, I met Jonathon or “Jono” as his mate’s call him, at Hugo’s about a month ago.

For all you non- Sydneysiders, Hugo’s is a trendy but pretentious Sydney bar and I had sworn off meeting guys there again. As it happens, I was at a friend’s birthday and he introduced me to his work mate.

Picture a 28 year old guy with a face like Brad Pitt and a physique like David Beckham. Yeah exactly, no single girl could resist and I would have been an absolute μουρλη if I had passed up on his advances.

Jono is a complete gentleman, very intelligent, funny and we get along like a house on fire.

Ολα καλα, until he asked me to his cousin’s wedding.

Of course I hesitated and said it was way too early in our relationship to be attending family functions together, but with his eager persistence and irresistible charm, I had to give in.

He proceeded to tell me it’s his Mum’s sister’s son whose getting married and I assumed that before the church, all the close family would go past his auntie’s place and they would have a small get together.

You know the drill.

The video man gets the family to pretend they are leaving the house. The photographer takes shots of the γαμπρο and παραγαμπροι getting dressed. Then the boys do “Zoolander” poses in front of the red Mustang, as the other 50 frantic family members are inside eating, drinking and getting the celebrations started.

Instead, his cousin was getting ready at a hotel room with his mates and he was meeting his parents, who were leaving from home, at the service.

Jono then casually announced that the ceremony would take place at a park in Manly and the reception would be a cocktail party at a nearby restaurant.

“Oh, so they aren’t getting married in a church?” I asked, scrunching my face up.

“No babe, none of my family gets married in a church. We exchange vows and it’s done by a celebrant,” he said in his relaxed deep sexy voice.
Παναγια μου, I thought inside of me. Imagine one day I end up with this guy and I have to tell my γιαγια I am getting married στο παρκο and there will not be a Παππα attending! Πο, you will hear the τσιριλες from here to China!

Being a girl my other dilemma was, what was I going to wear?

There was a lot of deliberation, especially since:

a) I want to look hot for my hunk
b) I need to look sensible because it’s a wedding
c) It would be the first time I meet his parents

I decided it should be understated and elegant. So I chose a nice flowey turquoise Lisa Ho dress, that sat below the knee and I teamed it up with my favorite snakeskin pointy stilettos.

I offered to drive. So on the day of the wedding, I got in to my Audi and put on my beloved Ploutarhos CD to get me in a romantic mood.

“Τι να σου κανω που δεν ειμε θεος? Τι παρα πανω να μπορεσω και πως? �'ν θες να πεθανο, ας αξιζει ο σκοπος. Τι να σοω κανω? Εγω ειμε αυτος.” As usual, Ploutarhos’ soothing voice and beautiful lyrics brought shivers up and down my spine.

As I pulled up and waited for Jono outside his Bondi apartment, I started thinking, what would happen when we move in together and I get up early on Saturday’s to pump up the Greek music to do my δουλειες?
You see, there is no ξεσκονισμα or σφουγγαρισμα unless Mazonakis or Kokkinou are blearing in the background.

Would this be a problem for Jono? And how would I ever be able to translate this loving Greek music to him?

“What can I do for you, since I am not a god? What more can I do and how? If you want me to die, I hope it will all be worth it. What can I do? This is who I am.” Πο, imagine that!

“Hey babe, what’s up? You look miles away?” He asked with concern as we made our way over the Harbour Bridge listening to our favorite band, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

“Nothing at all, I’m just a bit tired,” I responded.

But little did he know that now I had started wondering about naming our son after his father.

I know it’s not Australian tradition, but my first γιος is going to be named after my πεθερο as both my brother’s first sons are going to be named after our Dad. This is what we were told at a very young age and there were no questions allowed.

But how would Κυριε Nathan feel about it? Would he like his grandson named after him?

Then I realized, Aphrodite, get your self together girl and stop worrying about φαντασιες.

We arrived at the park and to my disbelief, there were only 70 guests and the bridesmaids were wearing, wait for it, black! Yes, black, at a wedding!

I was just picturing my Mum here, “Μαυρο σε γαμο! Χρουσουζια!”

Then we proceeded to walk to the front, where Jono introduced me to his parents.

“Mum, Dad, this is Aphrodite,” he said nervously and squeezed my hand gently for support.

“Sorry, Aphra who?” his father asked politely in a heavy Aussie accent.

“A-phro-di-te. I’m named after my grandmother and a Greek goddess,” I said and smiled proudly as I shook his hand.

“That’s lovely darling and so are you,” said his Mum, after I leaned over and gave her the traditional European kiss on both cheeks.

They’re such a nice family and I would be a bitch if I was to say a bad word about them. Only problem, they were just so different to my family.

How was my Dad going to interact with Κυριε Nathan? Is he a big soccer freak, or does he only watch rugby? And what would my Mum have in common with Κυρια Marlene? Would she want to exchange τσουρεκι and σπανακοπιτα recipes?

Then I came back to my senses because firstly we are nowhere near getting married and secondly, it’s not about our parents.

It’s about me and my man, so if we get along, nothing else matters.

Right?

Well, this topic about me dating a non-Greek could not be completed in one column, so you will have to tune in next week, when I reveal more about the wedding and whether Jono has any hope of becoming my permanent Greek love god.

Till next week, happy loving and φιλακια, Aphrodite


Copyright © 2007

This article is not to be reproduced, published or used in any way without the writer’s permission and written consent. This article is protected under the Copyright Act 1968
For any queries regarding this please email: Aphrodite@greekcity.com.au]]> Sun, 02 Mar 2008 13:51:16 +0000 http://forums.greekcity.com.au/index.php?showtopic=15433 http://forums.greekcity.com.au/index.php?showtopic=16082 Hold'Em Challenge ]]> Wed, 13 Feb 2008 14:41:18 +0000 http://forums.greekcity.com.au/index.php?showtopic=16082 http://forums.greekcity.com.au/index.php?showtopic=15490












Am I still with Jono?

Now we can do this soapie style, where I leave you in suspense till the end of the column and you hang in there for the climax right at the very end.

But we’ll make this one a quickie.

So the answer to your question is, yes I am.

After a lot of deliberation I came to the conclusion that it’s not a nationality I’m dating, it’s a person. And while I’m onto a winner, I’m hanging on tight for the joy ride because not only is he a great guy but as my girlfriends keep reminding me, he is a damn hot handbag!

Let me rewind and tell you what led me to believe that Jono doesn’t need to be Greek to make me happy.

After his cousin’s ceremony in the park, we arrived at the reception in Manly for a cocktail party. And admittedly it did feel funny because I am not used to standing up all day at a wedding, nor am I used to eating canapés to fill me up.

Then I realized that just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

At the end of the day, even Greek’s amongst each other are dissimilar so does that mean that we don’t belong together?

For example, in Greece no church ceremony begins before 4 in the afternoon and they turn up to a taverna at around 9pm and party till 5 in the morning. As great as that may be, it’s unheard of here!

On the other hand, my relatives in Greece laugh when they hear that we have 500 guests, 6 bridesmaids, stretch limousines taking us from home to church then from the church to the reception and we pay 80 thousand dollars for one day that ends by midnight.

You might be asking, why all the wedding talk?

I feel it’s an appropriate scenario because from the experiences around me, it’s when the couple gets to a serious stage in their relationship, like planning to get married, that the problems begin.

I admit that in an ideal world, I would marry a Greek guy, we would have a lavish wedding, be blessed with beautiful children, raise them with the same Greek traditions that our parents proudly instilled in us and we would live happily ever after.

But get real, this world is no fairytale.

So as long as I choose to live in a multicultural society and am being surrounded by men of different races, colours and religions, I refuse to discriminate.

Seriously, if I only wanted to date Greek guys, then I would move to Greece as my chances are much higher. And if I was only committed to following Greek traditions and customs, then why would I continue calling Australia home?

On numerous occasions, I have been in heated debates with Greek friends about mixed marriages and I’ve had many people ask what is right and what is wrong?

My stance on this is simple.

Every single person and situation is unique and you are the only one who can honestly answer this question because you are the only one who deep down knows what is right for you.

I have friends who are in multi-cultural marriages and they are in complete bliss and I also have many married friends who are both Greek and they are also gorgeous couples.

The sad part is those who end up marrying someone because he or she ticked all the right boxes on paper, but there is no real chemistry between them.

In some cases, the only thing they have in common is their nationality. Or on the other hand, there are those who end up marrying someone outside their culture and then worry if they made the right decision.

Can you think of anything worst than spending the rest of your life wondering what if?

Personally, I don’t think it matters if you end up with a Greek, Italian, Asian or African, as long as your heart tells you they are the one.

If you and your loved one share the same morals, values and outlook on life, all the obstacles you may encounter due to your cultural differences will be overcome.

And if you have solid communication and you can compromise, everything else will fall in to place.

It may have taken a few years, but I have learnt that you should always put yourself first when making these life changing decisions and ignore those outside voices that disagree with your choice.

Some may see this as a selfish act, but I am a firm believer that if we all looked after ourselves more and stopped comparing one other, this world would be a much better place.

Do you see any benefit in stressing and taking on board other people’s opinions? I have been there in the past and I can tell you from experience that it’s very tiring and an extremely boring way to live life!

The only reason why certain people pass constant judgment and criticism on others who choose a different path, such as marrying a non-Greek is because they are unhappy with their own situation.

And instead of trying to deal with their inner demons, they spend their time trying to bring others down with them. This makes these cynics feel better and helps them avoid their own issues.

So I say, get rid of those negative people around you and don’t worry about trying to make your family and friends happy either. Otherwise you will go nuts!
And if they truly care for you, like they should, they will accept you for who you are.

Considering we only get one shot at this life, I say grab it by the balls and do it the way you get off on it!

At the end of the day, I am the one going to bed with my partner at night and waking up next to him every morning, so it really doesn’t matter if Kiria Maria down the street doesn’t approve of who I’m sleeping with.

I’m not saying that it’s an easy place to get to and there are times when I also let other people’s views affect me. That’s what you call being human and having moments of weakness.

Thankfully for me, those feelings only last a few minutes and then I remind myself that I refuse to be ruled by what society says.

I feel sorry for people who blame their parents for coming to Australia and believing that is the reason why they haven’t met their Greek match.

I am also fed up of hearing about so and so breaking up with the love of their life because their parents couldn’t accept that they were not Greek.

Never forget, the ball is always in your court.

Our generation is fortunate enough to be living at a time where we all have choices and the only thing holding us back is ourselves. So we need to start taking responsibility for our own actions and stop blaming family, friends and others for holding us back and making mistakes.

Ultimately, everyone has the power to control their own destiny. It’s only a matter of whether you choose to do so.

And for the record, just because I have chosen to date an Aussie doesn’t mean that I am going through an anti-Greek guy phase.

I still love my Greek boys.

Bottom line is, as a woman who has decided to always have fun in her life and refuses to settle for anything less than Mr. Perfect Right Now, I have made a choice to date a man.

And in this case, this perfect man happens to be an Aussie boy named Jono.

So till next week…happy loving and filakia polla, Aphrodite xx

Copyright C 2007

This article is not to be reproduced, published or used in any way without the writer’s permission and written consent. This article is protected under the Copyright Act 1968
For any queries regarding this please email: Aphrodite@greekcity.com.au]]> Wed, 18 Jul 2007 01:11:23 +0000 http://forums.greekcity.com.au/index.php?showtopic=15490